1
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,711
To be someone who censors
other people's behaviour
2
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,473
often masks your own sexual frustration
3
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,313
and this a proven fact.
4
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:31,428
In the same way, it is widely accepted that
having sex in a playful and relaxed way
5
00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:36,878
often reveals a free,
happy and open-minded disposition
6
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:41,476
and is the result of
a positive attitude towards life.
7
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,675
Just like the naughty girl of this short movie.
8
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,951
Tinto Brass
presents
9
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:05,233
Improper Liaisons (Improper Relations)
<>
10
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:52,910
- Uncle!
- Silvia!
11
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,957
- How are you?
- Fine.
12
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,838
- Let me see you. You've grown up.
- Of course.
13
00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,309
- Have you been waiting long?
- No. Let's go.
14
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,756
So, how was the journey?
15
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,718
It was so hot. I can't wait to have a shower.
16
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:46,833
Actually...
17
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:50,196
Tell me about your new wife!
Tell me something about her.
18
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:53,636
Everything's great with Francesca.
Elena is the problem.
19
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,790
It was predictable.
20
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,519
My little cousin doesn't change, does she?
21
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,238
You'll see for yourself.
22
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,429
I'm really sorry about your mother.
23
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,511
She was a fantastic woman.
24
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,511
You can stay as long as you like.
25
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,831
- I mean, with us.
- Thank you, uncle.
26
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:28,070
Life is really strange.
27
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,674
When I was a child
I always wanted to live with you.
28
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:35,595
I couldn't wait for the summer
because I knew Mum would send me here.
29
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:40,754
And now here I am with nowhere else to go
apart from that horrible school.
30
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,353
I've always thought of you
as my own little girl.
31
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,238
You know you were my first true love?
32
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,596
Till now. My biggest crush.
33
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,672
Hello!
34
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,951
- Fine.
- Hello!
35
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,871
You're beautiful.
36
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,395
- Well done, uncle. She's lovely.
- I know.
37
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,119
- The journey, how was it?
- Everything was fine.
38
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,233
Uncle, you're not spying on me, are you?
39
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,117
You left the door open.
40
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,270
The little girl has grown up, hasn't she?
41
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,430
What are you thinking about?
42
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,715
I'm too young for you.
43
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,473
What are you saying?
Hurry up. Dinner is ready.
44
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,437
Yes, sir!
45
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,313
So, have you decided what to do?
46
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:47,992
I have to keep on studying.
47
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:52,553
- Where?
- I don't know. I like it here in Rome.
48
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,949
Have you already found somewhere to stay?
49
00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,435
Silvia is part of the family
50
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,353
and she can stay here
as long as she likes, obviously.
51
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,076
There is enough room.
52
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,955
The fireworks.
Marco, are you coming with me?
53
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,031
Come on, uncle. Can we go?
54
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,714
- Sure. Don't be too late.
- Thank you.
55
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,840
Listen, she'll have to stay for a while.
56
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,876
She can't stay here forever.
57
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,789
Where do you think she should go, then?
58
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,555
- She could go back to her school.
- She's your cousin!
59
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,870
Why don't you like her?
60
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:44,273
Shut up. You're not even part of the family.
Why don't you leave as well?
61
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,352
Don't you dare talk to her that way.
Watch your mouth.
62
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,512
I already said she can stay
as long as she likes.
63
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,716
What's wrong, little one?
64
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,956
Are you afraid of the woods?
65
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:49,389
Don't be scared. I'm here with you.
66
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:55,278
Do you remember what we used to do
when we were young?
67
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,157
Do you remember?
68
00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,596
We played doctors. Remember?
69
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,911
And when you sodomized me
with your father's pen?
70
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:08,278
Do you want to sodomize me
with something else now?
71
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,910
What do you reckon?
72
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,509
Hurry up, Silvia. Dinner is ready!
73
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,509
- Park in the back. I'll be in the bedroom.
- I'm coming.
74
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,159
What are you doing here?
75
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,196
I was looking for a book.
76
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,397
No. You're nosing around
in my father's bedroom.
77
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,311
Aren't you leaving yet?
78
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,517
Don't you realise nobody wants you here?
79
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,478
You're not part of this family.
Go back to your school.
80
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:51,552
No. I don't think I'll leave.
81
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,278
I like this house.
82
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:57,831
Actually, my dear cousin,
I think you'll be the one to leave.
83
00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,111
Leave this room.
84
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,158
Does your father know
you take boys to your bedroom?
85
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,716
Come on? Why not?
86
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,438
Try, at least.
87
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:16,479
Look, let's do this. If you don't like it,
I won't ask you again.
88
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:19,757
I've told you many times,
I'm tired of listening to you.
89
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:24,356
I don't do it with my mouth.
Get a whore if you want particular things.
90
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:25,429
Yes.
91
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,159
I won't put that disgusting thing in my mouth.
92
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,593
Hi!
93
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,750
Hello!
94
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,353
Who are you?
95
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,832
Elena's cousin. I heard you talking
and so came in to meet you.
96
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,873
- Well, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
97
00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,759
Don't worry! She'll be busy for a while.
98
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,356
But tell me about your problem.
99
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,637
- What are you talking about?
- Come on.
100
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:14,355
I was passing by and accidentally
101
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,398
I heard you arguing about something.
102
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,233
A thing she doesn't really want to do.
103
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:24,918
Well...
104
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:30,113
What are you still doing in bed?
Hurry up, my father is on his way.
105
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,793
I bought you something.
106
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:32,953
I saw it in a shop
and I thought it would suit you.
107
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,190
Thank you, Auntie.
108
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:37,271
I'm sure you'll like it.
109
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,796
I'll put it here.
110
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,674
We're nearly ready to eat.
Are you coming downstairs?
111
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,354
Yes. In a while.
112
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,396
Where are you going, all wet?
113
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,874
I've just got out of the bath.
114
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,796
I'll wait for you downstairs.
115
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,437
Stay here with me for a little bit.
116
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,235
- What's wrong?
- I miss my mother.
117
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,312
So sweet.
118
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,595
I'm here.
119
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,708
Where's Elena? Isn't she coming to eat?
120
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:36,236
She said she's not coming.
She's not feeling well.
121
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,230
Since I've been here, she's been unwell.
122
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,118
Don't worry. It has nothing to do with you.
123
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,158
Go and tell your sister
I want her here in five minutes.
124
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,878
All right.
125
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,871
I'm going to have a bit of fresh air.
126
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,916
Excuse me.
127
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,873
- We can't go on like this.
- You're right.
128
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,516
What are these pictures of?
129
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:12,389
- A bit of everything.
- Are there some of your lovers?
130
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,277
I don't have any lovers.
131
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,396
Apart from me?
132
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,396
Of course.
133
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,433
- Do you want to take some pictures of me?
- Now?
134
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,272
Of course. Right now.
135
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:33,638
- I don't know. We don't have the right light.
- Come on. We can use the flash.
136
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,516
Give it back, come on.
137
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,719
- I know what you really like.
- Really?
138
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,439
Yes. You like watching.
139
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,758
You like watching people making love.
140
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,990
You're a vo...a...
141
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,798
The word is voyeur.
142
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:17,228
You shouldn't go nosing about
in other people's pockets.
143
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,118
- Come on, follow me.
- Where?
144
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,156
Come.
145
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,196
Where are you...
146
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:34,473
Wait.
147
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,672
Watch.
148
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,796
Who's your little girl? I need you to tell me.
149
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,311
You're my little girl.
150
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,915
- You are.
- We'll always be together, won't we?
151
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,910
We'll always be together.
152
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,316
Nobody will throw you out of here.
153
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,356
Nobody.
154
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:30,475
- I'll be back in time for dinner.
- We'll wait for you. Don't drive too fast.
155
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,793
I think I should be in that car.
156
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:38,158
Don't worry. I'm sure she'll be fine
in that school.
157
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,836
Dinner at seven.
158
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:00,990
You're not allowed to be late.
159
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:08,559
Hi. It's for the best
if you know this straight away.
160
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:13,556
- This is my girlfriend.
- Hello.
161
00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,316
Smoking is forbidden.
162
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:36,390
The word transgression
carries the implication of adultery.
163
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:43,477
In fact, in a love relationship
adultery is an arousing transgression.
164
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:47,075
And if there is complicity within the couple,
165
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:50,869
not only it is arousing, but also,
as we are going to demonstrate,
166
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:54,589
desirable and blessed.
167
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:06,868
Tinto Brass
presents
168
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,669
Blessed Transgression! <>
169
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,510
So, were you looking at me?
170
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,398
What's wrong with that?
171
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,676
Am I supposed to look the other way?
172
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:29,439
Don't you women wear short skirts
to be looked at?
173
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:33,149
And if someone finds you sexy and pretty,
you get annoyed.
174
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,071
Thanks for the compliment, Gianni.
175
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,709
When we were married,
you never looked at me this way.
176
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:43,032
Regina? My God, l hadn't recognized you
with your back to the sun.
177
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,111
What's up? Don't you like me any more?
178
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,714
No, I can repeat the compliment.
179
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,195
- You have become really sexy.
- Thanks.
180
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,431
Can I sit down,
or are you expecting some woman?
181
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,316
She's not coming any more.
182
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:02,350
Don't worry, sooner or later
you'll find your soul mate.
183
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,476
- Why, have you found one?
- Let's say so.
184
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,472
- What do you mean?
- I have found more than one.
185
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,518
Oh! You are having fun.
186
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,390
You are being sarcastic. Why shouldn't I?
187
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,436
I am a free woman.
188
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,069
If you say so.
189
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,151
No, the judge said so.
190
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,276
The way he looked at you...
191
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,474
And your lawyer? Real bastards.
192
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:32,511
What pleasure do they find in destroying
families, turning wife against husband?
193
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,400
- To sleep with her, perhaps?
- Here you go again.
194
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,119
Yes, yes. Sorry. You are right.
195
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:42,510
I haven't recovered from
the shock of losing you yet.
196
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,431
But you never really cared!
197
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,988
And it wasn't working in bed, Gianni.
198
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:50,311
I know. My responsibility, probably.
199
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:54,871
Let's not talk about responsibilities.
We were not right for each other, that's all.
200
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:57,838
Too many fights and misunderstandings.
201
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,878
All right, let's not talk about it any more. OK?
202
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:02,916
Water under the bridge.
203
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:12,429
- Is this all yours?
- Do you not recognize it any more?
204
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:18,793
- I must say, you still have a great pair of tits.
- Thanks.
205
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,834
And your thighs are even
slimmer than before.
206
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,598
It seems like you have grown up.
207
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:30,309
It seems like from the fat child you were,
you have turned into a woman.
208
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:35,631
- Better... A female.
- I exercise a lot.
209
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,950
It's good for you. If you weren't my wife...
210
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,634
Sorry, my ex-wife,
211
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,915
I would think about it.
212
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,797
I also do ballet. Shall I show you?
213
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:48,998
Stop it, I believe you.
They are looking at you.
214
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,753
What a bore!
215
00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:01,436
Does it not make you horny that someone
is looking at your wife... ex-wife?
216
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:07,870
lf I said that it made me horny,
what would you say?
217
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,995
That you've got a hard-on, maybe.
218
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,273
What if it were true? Would you be sorry?
219
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,352
It's your problem. Well...
220
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,749
To be honest...
221
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,068
To be honest? Go on...
222
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,993
It makes me horny, too.
223
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,755
That two men would like to fuck you?
224
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:38,595
It's understandable.
You have a nice arse, you like being liked.
225
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,274
It makes me horny that you have a hard-on.
226
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,873
There is no remedy,
considering we are no longer...
227
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:48,236
Together? But this is the reason.
228
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,196
What do you mean? Tell me.
229
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,437
That if we wanted to, we could fuck now.
230
00:32:55,520 --> 00:33:01,197
Without any worries, problems, family,
shopping, Sundays or arguments.
231
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:04,192
We could go to your place or mine,
and let's tango.
232
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,555
It's been two years
since we saw each other.
233
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:10,349
Actually, last time we met
we ended up fighting, as you know.
234
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,073
We promised not to meet each other again.
235
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:16,996
You accused me of being impotent.
236
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,594
And I accused you of being frigid.
237
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,148
Now you suddenly appear
on a Sunday morning
238
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,435
to give me a hard-on.
239
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,231
- Let me touch it.
- Are you mad?
240
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,393
Come on, let me feel it.
It's been so long since...
241
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,233
I told you, those two men are watching.
242
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,830
That is the reason why you are horny.
243
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,314
Regina, come on, stop it.
244
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:48,315
If there weren't so many kids around, I...
245
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:53,319
- With those two watching?
- Especially with them watching.
246
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,994
Do you know what made me really horny,
when we were married,
247
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,594
but I never had the courage to tell you?
248
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:09,109
The thought of watching you
making love with two men.
249
00:34:11,240 --> 00:34:14,312
- Upset?
- I don't know. Describe the scene for me.
250
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:22,235
You are on top of one of them,
while the other lubricates you from behind.
251
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:32,239
Then he fucks you so hard that
the two dicks rub each other in your body,
252
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,470
arousing each other.
253
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,313
I never knew you were
such a good storyteller.
254
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:42,110
I was afraid to offend you,
to disgust you with my fantasies.
255
00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:47,028
Don't you think women have
the same fantasies?
256
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:54,035
- You too, then?
- Yes, of course I get horny too.
257
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:58,398
I can't resist any more. Let's go to your
place, or mine, a hotel, wherever you want.
258
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:06,068
Hang on. I don't want to do it like we used
to, with you on top, pretending I liked it.
259
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:09,716
How boring!
260
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:12,558
Rather...
261
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,996
- What have you got in mind?
- I want to ask them to come with us.
262
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:20,995
Don't you think they are already aroused
by our performance? Don't you think?
263
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,516
Regina, where are you going?
Wait! Regina! Regina!
264
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,200
No, not now. Afterwards.
265
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:47,955
Afterwards. Afterwards.
266
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,876
Are they snogging in that car?
267
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:19,919
Hey, hey, hey. Relax. l am here.
268
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:27,833
OK, OK, it's all fine.
269
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:44,389
Hey, calm down. Calm down.
270
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:55,830
It's all fine.
271
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:09,957
- Cappuccino and pastry?
- Do I not disgust you now?
272
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:13,874
- No. Actually, if you want to know...
- Don't say it yet.
273
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:18,033
- I am going to say it. I love you.
- Me too.
274
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:26,951
- Please.
- Thank you.
275
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:38,156
How stupid we have been.
276
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:40,196
Wasting so much time.
277
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:42,999
Throwing plates at each other.
Like two idiots.
278
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:46,959
- We'll make up for lost time.
- Definitely.
279
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:50,675
I couldn't find my knickers.
280
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:53,471
They fell on the floor in the hall.
281
01:00:54,040 --> 01:00:58,591
My God! Someone might have found them.
282
01:00:58,680 --> 01:01:00,636
Lucky him.
283
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:18,109
Eroticism can also be
a splendid litmus paper
284
01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:21,556
which reveals moods, thoughts,
emotions and feelings.
285
01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:25,669
It is an expressive and ideological picklock,
286
01:02:25,760 --> 01:02:30,470
a magnifier to discover the most
deeply hidden drives of the human soul.
287
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:32,278
Like in this short movie
288
01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:35,909
where the asexual behaviour
of the characters
289
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:39,993
shows us some tasty truths
about the characters themselves.
290
01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:44,153
For example, the narcissism
of how one wants to appear
291
01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:48,438
often hides a person's true nature.
292
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:51,432
In this case, a chavinistic arsehole
293
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:55,477
becomes frustrated and impotent
and his wife cheats on him.
294
01:03:03,440 --> 01:03:06,830
TINTO BRASS
presents
295
01:03:07,920 --> 01:03:11,310
A MAGIC MIRROR
<>
296
01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:50,798
STOP SLOWING DOWN
297
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:20,359
Back!
298
01:04:40,400 --> 01:04:42,152
Is that OK?
299
01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:02,193
Giulia!
300
01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:05,033
Did you go to the locksmith
for the new lock?
301
01:05:06,120 --> 01:05:08,475
I went but it was closed.
302
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:12,396
And the phone connection?
303
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:16,117
I talked to Telecom,
they're coming tomorrow.
304
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:20,239
Also, the guys for the washing machine.
I told them to come at 1 1am.
305
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,355
Shit! I told you to make it 12pm.
306
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:26,436
They couldn't do it at 12pm.
307
01:05:26,520 --> 01:05:28,715
They can't come here
when you want them to.
308
01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:33,191
- It was at 1 1am or in two days and I said...
- Yeah, yeah. It's all right.
309
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:35,794
And what did the carpenter say?
310
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:42,591
It was closed as well.
There was a mad traffic jam this evening.
311
01:05:42,680 --> 01:05:45,672
I'd told you to stop by the shop.
312
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:48,797
You don't have to necessarily
go to the one downstairs.
313
01:05:49,440 --> 01:05:52,591
- You could go yourself.
- Try to remember tomorrow.
314
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,560
Do I have to do everything?
315
01:06:00,560 --> 01:06:03,313
Who went shopping and to buy the plants?
316
01:06:04,960 --> 01:06:06,632
Fuck it!
317
01:06:08,600 --> 01:06:10,238
What happened?
318
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:15,915
Nothing, nothing.
319
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:22,637
Be careful with those plates.
They're from my mother.
320
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:24,278
Yes!
321
01:06:24,360 --> 01:06:27,477
Why don't you get out of that bath
and come and help me?
322
01:06:27,560 --> 01:06:29,710
You've been in there for half an hour.
323
01:06:29,800 --> 01:06:33,110
Since we've got this house
I've been doing everything.
324
01:06:49,240 --> 01:06:50,878
Are you getting the door?
325
01:06:52,560 --> 01:06:55,916
- Of course. Who else would get it?
- Of course!
326
01:07:01,720 --> 01:07:03,676
- Hi, Walter.
- Hi.
327
01:07:04,560 --> 01:07:07,597
- Do you want a hand?
- No worries. I'll do it.
328
01:07:12,960 --> 01:07:16,111
- Who is it?
- It's Walter with the new mirror.
329
01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:19,158
- I bet he's having a bath.
- Good guess!
330
01:07:19,240 --> 01:07:22,437
- What does he need another mirror for?
- Oh, Walter!
331
01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:26,712
Come here!
332
01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:28,677
Sit down.
333
01:07:35,520 --> 01:07:39,752
You're always bathing and making
yourself ''pretty''. It's an obsession.
334
01:07:39,840 --> 01:07:42,638
I don't deny it. Everyone has an obsession.
335
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:47,116
I heard you lost yesterday as well.
336
01:07:48,640 --> 01:07:50,756
- Who told you?
- I heard it.
337
01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:54,638
People never mind their own business.
338
01:07:54,720 --> 01:07:58,429
Anyway, you deserve it. What did I tell you?
Don't listen to that arsehole.
339
01:07:58,520 --> 01:08:01,557
- Let's not talk about it.
- You're just a berk.
340
01:08:01,640 --> 01:08:04,757
- I told you...
- Stop it. I don't want to talk about it.
341
01:08:13,560 --> 01:08:17,155
Anyway, thank you for the mirror.
Giulia can't put it up, though.
342
01:08:18,240 --> 01:08:21,232
What does it have to do with Giulia?
It's your job.
343
01:08:22,440 --> 01:08:26,638
If you did it, it'd be as if
I was doing it myself anyway.
344
01:08:26,720 --> 01:08:28,836
I don't understand.
345
01:08:28,920 --> 01:08:31,275
You're doing me a favour.
346
01:08:31,360 --> 01:08:34,750
- It's obvious!
- Don't talk bullshit or I'll break that mirror.
347
01:08:34,840 --> 01:08:37,559
Where do you want me to put it?
348
01:08:37,640 --> 01:08:39,517
Next to the door.
349
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:41,158
All right.
350
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:07,752
How do you manage to live with him?
351
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:11,674
I've only been here for five minutes
and he's made me mad already.
352
01:09:13,520 --> 01:09:15,750
I know what you mean.
353
01:09:15,840 --> 01:09:20,277
- Sometimes he seems a bit dumb.
- He's not at all. He's a son of a bitch.
354
01:09:20,360 --> 01:09:23,636
- Don't offend your mother.
- Let's not even talk about it.
355
01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:27,429
- Don't make jokes about things like that.
- Who's joking?
356
01:09:27,520 --> 01:09:29,351
She's making me go mad.
357
01:09:31,160 --> 01:09:34,232
''Sandro is so good!
Sandro said that. Sandro did that.''
358
01:09:34,320 --> 01:09:39,519
What about me? Without me she'd be on
the streets. He'd never take her with him.
359
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:42,114
lt's just that you're too good.
360
01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:44,753
You mean a berk.
361
01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:47,955
You two are so different.
362
01:09:48,040 --> 01:09:50,349
lt's hard to believe you're brothers.
363
01:09:50,440 --> 01:09:52,112
You're telling me.
364
01:10:02,120 --> 01:10:04,714
Close to the door, OK?
365
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:07,598
Close to the door.
366
01:10:07,680 --> 01:10:10,240
Not too high!
367
01:10:10,320 --> 01:10:12,117
Not too high.
368
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:15,351
- Not too low either.
- Not too low either.
369
01:10:16,720 --> 01:10:19,359
I want to be able to see my whole body.
370
01:10:20,240 --> 01:10:23,357
Remember you're at least four inches
shorter than me.
371
01:10:23,440 --> 01:10:26,000
Arsehole. He's a total arsehole.
372
01:10:26,920 --> 01:10:30,595
- He's like that.
- He always does what he likes.
373
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:32,989
My mother dotes on him
because he's an actor.
374
01:10:33,080 --> 01:10:37,198
And what an actor he is. ln four years
he only did one photo soap opera.
375
01:10:37,280 --> 01:10:40,989
- It's a hard profession.
- We all know what his profession is.
376
01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:46,995
- He has an audition on Monday. If...
- Again.
377
01:10:47,080 --> 01:10:49,389
Every week there's one.
378
01:11:05,840 --> 01:11:07,398
Hello!
379
01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:13,838
Yes, but I...
380
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:17,708
I don't give a toss. You should've
thought about that beforehand.
381
01:11:19,640 --> 01:11:23,997
You didn't get it, then. You didn't get it.
You have to bring me the money.
382
01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:27,595
There's fucking nothing to explain.
383
01:11:27,680 --> 01:11:32,151
Listen to me. Either you bring
the money tomorrow or you're in trouble.
384
01:11:32,240 --> 01:11:34,117
Hang up.
385
01:11:36,120 --> 01:11:38,076
Bloody hell.
386
01:11:38,160 --> 01:11:40,993
They all want to have a life of crime.
387
01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:42,877
And then they shit themselves.
388
01:11:42,960 --> 01:11:43,676
Excuse me.
389
01:11:44,240 --> 01:11:47,198
Could you give me a hand?
390
01:11:47,280 --> 01:11:48,872
Of course.
391
01:11:57,360 --> 01:12:00,272
- Giulia, I'm sorry.
- Fuck off!
392
01:12:12,160 --> 01:12:14,230
Bloody hell, such a slap!
393
01:13:58,120 --> 01:14:01,635
Instead of staying here doing nothing,
go help my brother. Go.
394
01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:05,995
I want to be with you.
395
01:14:07,320 --> 01:14:11,029
Come on, fucking hell!
He's doing us a favour.
396
01:14:16,600 --> 01:14:18,556
So? Are you deaf?
397
01:14:19,840 --> 01:14:21,796
Move your arse!
398
01:14:35,200 --> 01:14:37,350
As you like.
399
01:14:38,880 --> 01:14:41,235
The sponge.
400
01:15:47,160 --> 01:15:49,628
So, do you still want a hand?
401
01:16:33,840 --> 01:16:35,956
Look at your face.
402
01:16:39,440 --> 01:16:41,670
Are you insane?
403
01:16:41,760 --> 01:16:46,117
I don't know if it's that stuff you snort
or going to the gym that makes you like this.
404
01:16:47,240 --> 01:16:49,549
What are you doing?
405
01:16:49,640 --> 01:16:51,756
I was joking.
406
01:16:51,840 --> 01:16:53,671
- Come on.
- Leave me alone.
407
01:16:53,760 --> 01:16:56,115
I was joking. Stop it.
408
01:16:59,040 --> 01:17:01,156
Go and get me the hairdryer.
409
01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:03,632
Where is it?
410
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:07,835
Where do you think it is? In the kitchen?
411
01:17:07,920 --> 01:17:11,390
If it's not in the bathroom,
it must be in the gym bag.
412
01:17:12,280 --> 01:17:14,236
These fucking Sicilians.
413
01:17:17,680 --> 01:17:21,434
That girl doesn't understand that if
she wants to stay, she has to work.
414
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:24,273
She has to work.
415
01:17:24,360 --> 01:17:27,477
It won't be long
before I send her back to her village.
416
01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:28,788
One second.
417
01:17:40,560 --> 01:17:43,279
Do you know
what she asked me the other day?
418
01:17:43,360 --> 01:17:45,237
She comes to me and says,
419
01:17:45,320 --> 01:17:48,073
''Can I go out with my friend?''
420
01:17:48,160 --> 01:17:50,435
She said it was someone's birthday.
421
01:17:51,280 --> 01:17:53,874
I slapped her hard.
422
01:17:55,400 --> 01:17:58,119
All right. I'm going to dry my hair.
423
01:17:58,200 --> 01:18:01,476
If I don't fix it straight away,
I will never manage.
424
01:18:02,480 --> 01:18:05,517
The other day, I had like a horn.
425
01:18:05,600 --> 01:18:07,750
I had to wash it again.
426
01:18:36,480 --> 01:18:40,439
- Who have you had an affair with?
- Nobody.
427
01:18:40,520 --> 01:18:42,397
- I never...
- Never?
428
01:18:42,480 --> 01:18:44,152
Never.
429
01:18:48,320 --> 01:18:50,550
Never say never.
430
01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:01,596
Well. What is it?
431
01:19:01,680 --> 01:19:04,558
I just wanted to check
if you needed anything.
432
01:19:05,840 --> 01:19:07,876
That's a first.
433
01:19:24,400 --> 01:19:26,356
Walter. Sandro is here.
434
01:19:27,320 --> 01:19:29,276
- I can't, Walter.
- Why?
435
01:19:30,680 --> 01:19:34,673
Wait for him to leave.
436
01:19:52,160 --> 01:19:54,958
And then we can do everything you want.
437
01:20:03,320 --> 01:20:06,312
- Everything?
- Everything, yes.
438
01:20:09,440 --> 01:20:11,590
You picked the wrong brother.
439
01:20:11,720 --> 01:20:13,278
Yes.
440
01:20:37,760 --> 01:20:39,876
So, do you want me?
441
01:20:42,600 --> 01:20:44,716
I've been wanting you for years.
442
01:20:44,800 --> 01:20:47,633
You could have told me before.
443
01:20:48,280 --> 01:20:50,316
You could have told me.
444
01:20:56,920 --> 01:20:59,639
- I'll finish here then I'll give you a hand.
- Really?
445
01:20:59,720 --> 01:21:02,029
I don't need it. I've nearly finished.
446
01:21:11,440 --> 01:21:13,795
What's wrong? Are you all right?
447
01:21:13,880 --> 01:21:15,438
What's that face for?
448
01:21:16,200 --> 01:21:19,317
I feel a bit stressed. Maybe I'm a bit tired.
449
01:21:20,600 --> 01:21:25,037
Well, go to bed early
and tomorrow you'll feel fine.
450
01:21:38,080 --> 01:21:40,833
- You're so beautiful.
- Am I?
451
01:21:56,920 --> 01:21:58,876
ls this how you wanted it?
452
01:22:06,120 --> 01:22:08,634
Perfect. Thank you, little Walter!
453
01:22:08,720 --> 01:22:10,870
lt's OK. It took me less than 20 minutes.
454
01:22:10,960 --> 01:22:15,112
Bloody hell! You're ace. It'd take me
20 minutes to make that drill work.
455
01:22:15,200 --> 01:22:16,872
You should learn.
456
01:22:16,960 --> 01:22:21,476
You reckon? I want to leave
these little satisfactions to you.
457
01:22:21,880 --> 01:22:23,916
Do what you like.
458
01:22:24,000 --> 01:22:26,468
You look so pretty! Are you going out?
459
01:22:27,360 --> 01:22:29,669
With friends?
460
01:22:29,760 --> 01:22:32,832
- With a gorgeous chick!
- First time to shag her?
461
01:22:32,920 --> 01:22:35,388
- Already shagged her.
- Same tactics.
462
01:22:35,480 --> 01:22:37,755
Of course. ''Would you give me a hand?''
463
01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:41,877
You'll stay overnight?
464
01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:46,310
- But you will be late?
- I don't know. Are you a detective?
465
01:22:46,400 --> 01:22:48,152
Don't get pissed off.
466
01:22:48,240 --> 01:22:52,313
- I left a bit of mess. Will you clean it up?
- Giulia will do it.
467
01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:55,950
Can you show Walter out?
468
01:22:56,600 --> 01:22:57,999
Yes.
469
01:23:00,680 --> 01:23:02,113
For you.
470
01:23:03,280 --> 01:23:07,796
- You're giving me half a million lire?
- You've been doing a lot for me.
471
01:23:07,880 --> 01:23:11,190
By the way, can you tell Mum
I'll come and see her on Sunday?
472
01:23:11,280 --> 01:23:14,317
She'll be happy.
Can you stay with her on Tuesday?
473
01:23:14,400 --> 01:23:17,551
Tuesday? No, I can't.
474
01:23:17,640 --> 01:23:21,394
- Fuck it. For once l ask you a...
- I can't, I've got something to do.
475
01:23:21,480 --> 01:23:24,313
Something important. I'll tell you later.
476
01:23:29,360 --> 01:23:31,396
- Bye, Sandro.
- See you, Walter.
477
01:23:42,440 --> 01:23:45,034
Are you coming back? I'll wait for you.
478
01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:46,599
You bet!
479
01:23:47,680 --> 01:23:51,150
- The green tie?
- With the others.
480
01:23:51,240 --> 01:23:53,595
As soon as you see the car leaving.
481
01:24:02,440 --> 01:24:05,273
While you're waiting.
482
01:24:05,360 --> 01:24:07,396
You're mad.